Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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