The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
