As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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