Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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