My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize