So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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