My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
