I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
