so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
