He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
