I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize