a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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