; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
