We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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