somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
