Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
