Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
