Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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