garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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