i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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