is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
