what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
