Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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