I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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