I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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