I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just googled if crying burns calories
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize