mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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