kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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