TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
