drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
