My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
