He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
