Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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