it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
