The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
it hurts more in the daytime
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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