You really coming over, don't trick.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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