you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
