I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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