I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
