Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
