Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
