Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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