dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
