Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
