Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
