I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
