u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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