I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
