I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
