SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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