In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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