The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize