his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
