We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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