As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
