doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
