We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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