My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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