note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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