Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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