i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
