Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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