he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
