Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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