She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
