i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
