he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
