I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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