I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
