I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
