a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
